A New Day, The Other Me chapter 13 by P.O.I.
Mark Delauter Sr.
“Mark you can’t be seriously consulting the prosecution on how they can destroy my case,” Alden Thompson, defense attorney for the detectives and officer that assaulted and attempted to kill my son.
“Alden I have been meeting with ADA Deveroe since he came to me seeking some advice on a case. Now he couldn’t go into details and I didn’t ask for any, I just gave him a few points as to where to step in and go for the kill,” I explain as Alden paces the 7th green.
We’re at the R.R. golf course, it’s a modest course but I know it fairly well and can play it strong and solid which is why I have a man here who can’t afford to spend his time on the green. I’m kicking his ass on more than one front today. The fact that he knows I’ve been meeting with ADA Deveroe isn’t a surprise considering I’ve spared a few of Deveroe’s cases in past years by not taking clients that would drag our firm’s name in the dirt. Yes a legal firm can have a good reputation along with a winning one, it’s just not easy.
“Mark we’ve known each other for a while but I have to warn you that you’re playing a dangerous game by assisting the DA’s office,” Alden is warning me, how quaint.
“Wow, Alden Thompson coming to the defense of me? I need to have the time marked as a near miracle in the making,” I state before laying out my chip shot.
“You should be taking this case Mark, you could finally stick it to the system getting bad cops off the streets,” Alden states trying to get under my skin as we move to his shot,” I mean they had their reasons.”
“We’re lawyers and in our world the ends justify the means but cops have a code and they broke it,” I state as he lines up his shot,” And besides I’d never tank a case just to see justice done.”
“Justice? You? You actually used that word considering how many people you’ve helped walk away from major crimes,” Alden is biting but I’m having fun.
“My clients were innocent and a court of law found them to be innocent. It’s one thing to pick easy cases and win Alden,” I watch his shot, sliced it a little,” It’s another to take the case because you know it’s hard but you know you’ll be saving someone’s life in the process.”
“So you just turned your head to the mountain of evidence in some of your cases because you ‘knew’ they were innocent,” Alden asks and I chuckle a little.
“See that’s why you’ll never make it as a judge,” Alden has been eyeing a seat on the bench for years,” you try to be unbiased about a case while you are very biased about the same case. If you can’t make up your mind now how are you going to do that when you’re the one deciding someone’s life?”
Alden and I finish the round of golf before turning in and while my temporary partner has headed to the clubhouse to celebrate his loss, I head home. I have more important things to do. Back home I’m able to watch my family get ready for the next day and while I could reply to a few messages that Deveroe has sent me he Alden was right, getting to close could cost me too much. Guy is going back to school tomorrow and since he has had three meetings with Dr. Hill in almost two weeks she says he’s still hurting but he’s more open and expressing himself which helps her gauge his current mental state. Her assessments are good but the only thing I’m seeing wrong in the world is how he and Bethany are getting along. She’s friendly towards him but she is nervous, possibly even afraid of him, and there has been nothing to show why she should be feeling this way and while her mother and sister have asked what it is that happened and she’s denied anything has happened something has. I put that in its place for now and look a little bit into family work, Guy’s school removal paperwork. His idea and honestly it’s not a bad one considering even when he’s trying to get some peace they declare war.
Carlos Ortega: Thursday at Lunch
“So he’s here but he’s been in the school office,” I ask Romeo.
“Yeah, I was helping out when he came in. He had some papers with him and he’s been in the new Principal’s office ever since. I left to come tell you when lunch started,” Romeo informs me of the situation and I nod.
“So you gonna talk to him Carlos,” Hector asks and I give him a look,” Come on I’m asking here, he won’t see me but you could try to ask him about that contract. Lupe is on my ass about it.”
“How about you remember the shit you pulled and then think about what happened the last time someone tried to make peace with us,” I tell Hector and he has to think,” You beat him up. Just a week ago?”
“Yeah but still…,” Hector asks but he’s not thinking.
“Rome get him out of here before I slap him,” I order Romeo who gives me a confused look.
Romeo doesn’t usually have to help with other crew, hell he doesn’t usually help with people for the most part but he walks Hector away from me so I can think. My people are still ready for shit and keeping together since Rolando and Juanita got jumped. Ro is doing better, he doesn’t remember much but a blur of pain and being bit. Juanita on the other doesn’t go anywhere alone and even then public places are a no go without four or five others. The fucker who did this has my crew afraid of the dark and I need to get them back on their shit since we got an order to move this Friday and the meet on Saturday is a big one. A lot of partying and even the Union will be running some business behind the scenes. I make my way over to the office and think about how I’m going to even try to talk to Guy or thank him for what he did with my family and our home. He’s still in the principal’s office still, well she’s the temp principal but she’s a sister, Latina, so with any luck I can wait it out and I’ll be able to talk with Guy. I can’t hear anything from the office from the chairs they have so kids can wait their turns but it looks like they’re discussion is pretty intense. They aren’t shouting but she is not happy with whatever Guy is telling her. He picks up some papers off her desk and puts them in a folder before heading out of her office with her following him.
“Mr. Donnelly we are not done with this discussion,” Mrs. Costas says following Guy as he is half way through the office to leave.
“Yes we are, I presented my requirements, you declined. I presented my second offer so that I could have some measure of peace of mind and you continued to insult me by telling me what you think I have and do not have to do. Now Mrs. Costas I will show you what I can and will do. Enjoy your interim position but don’t unpack anymore, it will seem a little useless in the coming pair of weeks,” Guy is very formal but his voice is cold, he’s up to something.
“Mr. Donnelly I know who your family is and I know what they’re capable of and honestly if I weren’t ready for the repercussions of not giving you your way I would have stepped aside and given you your request to remove yourself from the curriculum for the remainder of the year till graduation but after everything that has happened you are obligated to remain attending classed,” I hear it and know why he’s trying to get away but why is she stopping him.
“Yes and since you already explained that you want to use me as some sort of trophy as to how much the school has come around and changed its ways since you took over I still, even when I was here on leave I was assaulted. Now your answer is to continue to return to the scene of my numerous assaults because it’ll help you? No, the answer has been and will continue to be no,” Guy isn’t angry with her, at least not like he should be but him leaving makes things a problem.
“Mr. Donnelly you are expected to be in attendance tomorrow morning at first bell for your class, if you are not there I will file paperwork to have your held back a year for missed time in school,” Mrs. Costas just threatened Guy and I step in.
“Guy will be here tomorrow Ma’am,” I add and both look at me, her with some relief and him with something, I don’t know the look.
“No, I won’t. Good day,” Guy says it and quietly turns around to leave.
Guy walks right out and I follow him, I gotta talk to him somehow and it’s looking like I won’t get any more opportunities. I catch up but I don’t cut him off.
“Guy can I talk to you,” I ask and he doesn’t even look,” Yes? No? Go fuck myself?”
“Quod petis, refert,” he says it and I have no clue what he just said.
“Bro I have no clue what that means,” I tell him and he stops.
“If you’re going to jump me get it over with so I can pick myself up off the ground again and return home,” Guy is ready for another beating but this is different.
“You did what you did for my family, for me, because you could. I wanted to tell you thank you, my mom and dad say thank you. I know you didn’t’ have to do it, you could have let me and my family hurt but you didn’t. You said you didn’t do it because you could,” I am really trying to make a point here but he’s not interested,” I know you don’t believe me but I never wanted all this. I know we hit you because we thought it was disrespect but all this over the years…”
“Was your fun and games,” Guy finishes but he’s wrong.
“It was me not stepping up and taking control of the situation. I let my people have their fun and I didn’t care that it fucked you up. All of this is because I didn’t stand up and do the right thing, I hate bullies and I made myself into one by not doing the right thing after the first time,” I am in front now and between him and his way out.
“Are you done,” Guy asks and I shake my head no.
“No, not until you and me and my whole crew are squared up. I need this, you do to,” I say that and I watch it happen.
Something about Guy changes, like he just shakes a little as if he got cold right here in the early spring sun and when he opens his eyes I’m staring at Guy but not the one I’ve been talking to.
“Vos miserum cibus, sacco, dignum arbitratus ut sciam quid opus est,” Guy says to me and again I don’t understand what he is saying or asking.
“Guy, what? What are you saying,” I ask him and just like that he shakes a little again.
“Leave me alone, I have a world to ruin,” Guy tells me then steps around and walks to his car.
I watch him leave and wonder if I didn’t put my foot up my own ass by trying to help Mrs. Costa. I head back to the office and see her sitting in what is now her office. A little knock and she looks up from her computer to me.
“Mr. Ortega,” she asks and I nod,” Your reputation precedes you.”
“Doesn’t sound like a good thing,” I respond closing her office door after me and sitting down,” Guess you were told a lot about me and my friends.”
“I was but with no evidence or witnesses I make my own judgments,” she tells me and I nod,” So thank you for offering to help Guy find his way back to school tomorrow.”
“I didn’t want to make it look like I was going to be dragging him in here or anything. I just wanted to let him know that nothing is going to happen to him here,” I could admit to a lot but I don’t, Mrs. Costa nods.
“Well it’s nice to have some student support around the campus. Mr. Donnelly is something of a rallying cry to have students abandon school and stand up to a… abusive and authoritative administration,” I have heard a little but if she knows about it then it’s probably bigger than I thought.
“May I ask a real question ma’am,” I get the nod to continue,” Why not just let him go? He is going to be miserable and he’s going to point everything he has at you. You know what his family does and I know how far they are willing to go to make a point at someone’s expense.”
“Because I have a chance here to prove them and him wrong. I am not doing this to hurt Guy Donnelly, I’m doing this to prove that he can come to this school and feel safe, that he can come here and not feel like he’s going to be attacked or assaulted,” Mrs. Costa explains and I listen,” I prove to him he is a valued student. I help a very intelligent young man with oppositional authority issues see that he can be a part of the school he hates and I can make changes to this school for the better of everyone.”
“He’s your trophy,” I say the words and she shakes her head.
“He’s a spokesman and what he says is not being seen and heard and people are following his life to see what happens next. Now Mr. Ortega,” she hasn’t called me Carlos yet, she’s called Guy by his first name though,” While there is no evidence or witnesses to any of the events that have happened to Guy at this school I am not blind. I will not tolerate any action that puts the student body at risk and IF I find out that anyone of your friends take any actions that do I will remove them from this school and they will not come back.”
She’ll expel anyone who causes problems, I nod but now I need to bring everyone in and lay down the law. We got only a few months left for most of us but the younger crew need to keep their heads on and stop thinking for themselves for a while. I finish my day and call a meeting, everyone shows and I let them know that we are under some serious shit with the principal and after I slapped around Hector they aren’t confused with what will happen if they step out of line. Biggest point I have to make is that it’s not me they need to be worried about coming after them, its Mrs. Costas.
Next morning is quiet, good and people are waiting as Guy shows up. Most important person waiting is Mrs. Costas who is out front watching him walk up to the school. She’s smiling but I’ve seen Guy like this before and he’s not here because he wants to be.
“Mr. Donnelly thank you for showing up after everything that has happened recently,” She welcomes him but he doesn’t slow down,” Have a minute to speak?”
Guy stops and turns to look at her, he’s not dressed up like he was earlier this year. He looks more like the old Guy, hooded shirt and beat up jeans with a back pack. Only thing different from then and now is Guy would have stopped and tried to be polite or nice and now he just stares at Mrs. Costas.
“I know we got off on the wrong foot yesterday and I’m hoping to rectify that by helping to show you that your remaining months will be more productive and that this school is making a change in how it is being run and how the students will be treated by each other and by the staff,” Mrs. Costas is smiling but Guy just looks at her with almost no expression.
Nothing comes out of Guy’s mouth; he doesn’t respond or even reply to Mrs. Costas trying to welcome him. She is trying to smile and be friendly but Guy ignores it turning away from her and heading to his class. I’m actually glad he’s here since it’ll give me a chance to talk with him and try again to apologize for everything. Yes I did it yesterday but I don’t know, I just need to make things right. It’s a need for me. My day comes and goes; I don’t see Guy except when he picks up his lunch and heads off to the library to eat. One of my people watching him says he’s been in the library all day long after his first two classes just sitting and talking to himself. His friend in the leather jacket visited him and he showed interest in her when she was there, maybe I can talk to her about what I can do to get him to see that I’m actually sorry about what happened. We’re heading out of school and I’ve got my people all heading home when I see her coming my way and I don’t know why she makes me nervous, probably because I want to take her out and she hates me more than anything in the world.
“Carlos can I speak with you about something,” Abby is walking at me and she doesn’t look mad for once,” Why do you keep coming after my brother?”
“I’m not coming after him. What happened the other day was my friends trying to defend me when they didn’t know what your brother was doing for me and I handled them for it,” I explain and she waits for me to finish like I just said the wrong thing.
“No I mean why are you telling the principal that you’re going to make sure Guy comes to school every day? Are you enjoying watching him suffering through your crap,” Abigail asks me and I’m a little surprised by her reaction to me trying to keep Guy in school.
“I don’t enjoy it, I don’t think I ever did but maybe somewhere at the beginning I probably did and I won’t lie about that but now… here and now I just want him to be able to walk around school and not be afraid of my friends and me,” I explain and she listens but doesn’t believe me,” I know you don’t understand but I just want to fix this hate between him and my friends and me. If I could get that back to somewhere that wasn’t him afraid of me and me feeling like shit about what I allowed happen I’d be content with pretty much everything else.”
“You just don’t get it and you probably never will Carlos so I am going to have to tell you in plain words. There will never be anything good between you two,” Abby says it and I can’t believe in that,” You can try to deny it all you want but you and your friends will never… N-E-V-E-R be on good terms with Guy or anyone in our family with the way things are. Stop trying to convince him that you’re a good person, you’re not, it’s just guilt and like most people with indigestion it’ll pass and you’ll be right back to the abusive bully everyone has watched the past few years.”
“I understand why you think that but you’re wrong and I’d like the chance to prove it to you and your brother and your whole family,” I tell her and she doesn’t look like she believes a word of what I’m saying,” Come to church with us this Sunday.”
“Excuse me,” she responds not angry but stunned.
“Your whole family comes to Church with my family this Sunday. See us outside of here, see me outside of here when I’m not ‘the bully’,” I have to put it that way since she sees me like that,” Give me the chance to prove that my family and I are serious about making things good between both families.”
“No, you don’t deserve it,” Abby tells me in a cold tone, not like her brother’s though.
“Ask Marta then, she’ll back me up and you trust her. Guy might trust her too and she’ll be there along with my parents. One Sunday to prove that my family and I are serious about making things good between us again,” I offer and my god I love her.
Yeah I still want her more than anything which is just a little more than I want to make peace between Guy and my people. Abigail for her part just shakes her head and walks away which I expected but I have to get home so I can get Marta to help me. My sister knows I’m trying to fix the damage I allowed so maybe she can convince Abby and Guy and the rest to come down to church. Got plenty to look forward to this weekend.
Guy: After school
So here I am at school when I really don’t want to be. I gave Mrs. Costas two perfectly good options for letting me finish out my classes and then take the rest of the year till graduation off then I would come back and walk with my class but she seems to think I need to be here. That or she needs me here to prove she can handle this school and the animals it cages. I don’t do much my first day back, go to my two classes, hand in my work that I had done for when I was gone, then sit in the library and think.
So I say we just protest out and when she bitches sic the Dad on her.
The lawyer, he’ll screw her up nicely.
I don’t mean to be disrespectful but we’ve been at this longer than you…
AND I HAVE DONE MORE TO DESTROY THOSE THAT STAND BEFORE US IN A FRACTION OF THE TIME THAN YOU HAVE SO QUIET YOUR NOISE AND HAVE HIM
FIND SOMEONE TO HURT. I HUNGER.
Well there are a few girls who like him enough and we could have him talk to that would be interested in…
I DO NOT CARE FOR WHO LIKES HIM. I HUNGER, HE HUNGERS AND HE WILL HUNT AND FEAST.
I’m looking at the parking lot, Natalie’s car is gone. Abby and Beth have gone home too. Sydney and Jenna are nowhere to be found as I’m walking the school grounds. I pass the gym, the cafeteria, but it’s when I get near the office I see Principal Costas heading to her car and a few of the staff leaving too.
My lord that will end in him being imprisoned.
FIND HIM FLESH NOW.
Wandering the halls looking for someone, hell anyone and I don’t find anything which is disappointing until I get to the science labs. Not a favored class mind you but as I walk, and for some reason I’m being quiet, hear people talking in one of the labs.
“So what are you doing once you’re done helping me out,” Brandon, I recognize the ‘hey girl’ in his voice asks and I listen in.
“Going to call a ride and head home,” and that is Emily.
my lord she has been receptive to him before, perhaps…
QUIET WORM, I’M WAITING FOR HIM.
my lord what are you waiting for Guy to do?
NOT GUY YOU FOOL, I’M NOT WAITING FOR HIM.
“You know I could give you a ride. I mean you been helping me with my project a couple weeks now so I figure it’ll be good to help you out for a change,” Brandon is trying, I wonder how this is going to play out considering how Emily can get.
“Brandon no, I said I’d help you with your project. That is all. I’m not a quickie to expand your horizons on so please,” Emily is quick to stop him, I like it,” don’t ask and I know you’re looking since you broke it off with that girl, the one that nobody saw coming and everyone should have, to try to get back with Jenna.”
“Hey it ain’t like that, you’ve been helping me with this and I was just trying to be nice,” Brandon is trying to play the nice guy card, kind of difficult when you have his reputation.
“And thank you for the offer but I already messaged a ride and they’ll be at the school in a few to pick me up,” Emily is bluffing, I know the sound of it.
“Who,” Brandon with good to ask her, normally I’d be supportive of someone calling someone else out on a bluff.
“Me actually, never left today and was waiting for your message,” I tell Emily as I step into the science lab,” Going to be much longer?”
“Where the hell did you come from,” Brandon asks, awww he still doesn’t like me.
“Somewhere cold, dark and unforgiving,” I respond turning my attention back to Emily where it should be,” Want me to pull up my car or shall I walk you out?”
“Walk me out please, remember Brandon put everything back in its casing so it’s organized for the presentation,” Emily tells Brandon as we exit the science lab.
We get far enough away that she’s sure Brandon isn’t following us before finally relaxing, I can tell because she’s pretty easy to read when she doesn’t have the squad around. What surprises me is that I can smell her with a foot of physical space between us. It’s a little salty and almost wet if wet had a smell. We get to the front of the school when I figure we’re far enough away.
“So I’m guessing I wasn’t planned for,” I ask and she nods,” Natalie was supposed to wait or come back?”
“Yes, either that or my brother would come get me. I just really don’t want to be alone with him. He requested me for help when my name was on the list of people who can help with final projects and while I don’t really care for the subject of sports, diet and conditioning of professional athletes,” I give her a look and she notices,” not my choice for a subject on a final project but he’s been more…. persistent with asking me if I need a ride home or if I want to get an early dinner. I remember him spending his future millions when he was dating Jenna.”
“He spent money with Jenna,” I ask and she laughs a little and shakes her head.
“No that’s the point,” Emily clarifies and we both laugh a little.
WHY ARE YOU INTERFERING?
my lord I’m just helping to bring the female along. she’ll be easier to entice…
FOOL THIS WEAKNESS WAS WHAT CALLED ME. NOW STOP INTERFERING.
I get us to my car and get the door for her; I’m being polite, before getting in and driving us to her parent’s home/business. It’s a little odd when half the building is a house and the other is a convenience store and after a loop around Emily has me stop at the half way point.
“They built the connection after a couple years of owning it. The whole thing is still two buildings it just has a connection you can’t get into without going from one to the other,” she explains and I can see it a little.
I park in the drive way as she looks around a little confused, not sure what is going on but when I don’t stop the car she gives me an odd look.
ENOUGH OF THESE GAMES.
I stop the car’s engine and stare at Emily waiting for her to say or do something when quietly she opens the door to my car and steps out. I give her a second and leaving my bag in the car get out and as soon as I’m on my feet and walking she looks like she’s not sure what I’m doing but she leads and I follow her into the house. I take off my shoes at the door like last time and as soon as their off I follow Emily to her room and as soon as we’re in I nudge the door closed behind me. Emily hasn’t turned around and I take in her attire. Comfortable but hip hugging capri pants and a loose v neck top and calf high socks.
“You want to try to play some games,” Emily asks and I feel something… more.
“No, I’m hungry,” is all I can think to say almost putting my chest against her back, she’s only 5’6” and her hair smells like raspberries.
“I can get some food from the kitchen,” I grunt and she smells sweet,” I can get a snack from the store.”
“I… hunger,” I say it again and she shivers a little.
I put my arms around Emily’s arms and she recoils a little backing into me a little pressing her back against my chest. I put her breasts between my forearms, one above and one below and squeeze. Emily whines a little and I snap putting my hand around her neck, she freezes but she knows I’m in charge.
“Bra… off,” I growl and she nods a little, I’m letter her move some, I’m not a complete animal right?
She doesn’t try to take her shirt off, I guess she is feeling shy but with a little maneuvering she gets her bra off and drops it to the floor. I release her neck and feel around her waist before undoing the clasp of her pants. They don’t drop to the floor, snug pants by the feel as I work my hand into her panties and feel hair, lips and then moist.
BETTER, NOW TAKE HER.
very soon my lord.
As soon as I get a finger between Emily’s lips she backs into me and I feel her hands, one on my forearm and the other on my wrist in her pants. Not trying to stop me, more like she’s holding on. I find her clit with my finger and just play and tease it as Emily continues to whine and moan against me, I let loose her throat and squeeze her tit a little and now she moans a little more.
“That thought you’re having, that deep wicked little thought you’re thinking right now. Say it,” I whisper to Emily and she comes to for a second,” Say the words.”
“Do it,” is all Emily has to say.
I take my hand out of her pants and off her breast before pulling off her top over her head and toss it aside. Emily gets her own pants off and steps away from me for the first time since I touched her kneeling on her bed and moving up to the head where her pillows, all twelve or so, are piled around. My hoodie comes off with my t shirt inside it and my pants don’t have boots in the way to keep me from getting out of them. Naked and looking fresh meat… odd to think like that, oh well… Emily still has her panties on and is leaning back against her headboard waiting for me as I crawl on her bed. I spread her legs and move my face down to her panty covered lips.
“Guy I haven’t let anyone do thaaaa…. What the hell,” Emily protests before giving in.
While she was trying to speak I pulled her panties aside and took her clit into my mouth sucking and flicking it with speed. This is not light and playful; this has a purpose as I feel Emily shift on the bed as she enjoys my feasting. I wait for her to get a little wet before lower my whole body down flat to the bed and after snaking my arms up under her ample thighs and around her hips shove my tongue deep into her. She can’t move away from my mouth and hand which I’m using both vigorously on her hole and clit. I can tell she’s still breathing but not much noise is coming out so I pinch her clit a little and I get a surprise. Emily’s hands grab my hair and her thighs nearly break my neck while the noise coming from her mouth is a groaning almost like a wounded animal… I can only get so erect that I have to pinch harder and ram my tongue as far as I can inside her. Emily’s ass is off the mattress but with the death grip we both have on each other keeping my face buried in her pussy she isn’t going to get much farther up and I think she just came by her next words.
“Stop…. stop stop stop stop stop,” Emily pulls my face out of her and is breathing hard,” I need a minute.”
I untangle her hips from my arms and sit up on my knees between her legs and count. What am I counting? Seconds.
She’s doing well my lord.
NOW HE BREAKS HER.
One minute, sixty seconds, the amount of time Emily asked for is now over and it’s my turn. I take her hips in my hand and pull her down the bed closer to me scooping her legs under my arms and getting a surprised noise out of Emily. I use a hand to line my cock up to her entrance and pull her to me a little more getting a couple inches inside and immediately she starts freaking out.
“Shit, Guy stop a second… Guy we need a condom… we need protection,” Emily is trying to stop this and I don’t know why.
“Why,” I ask looking down at her.
“Because I could get pregnant,” first answer is a good one.
“And the problem with that would be what exactly,” I have no idea where this is in my mind but I’m not against it honestly,” are you on birth control?”
“Yes…,” Emily answers quietly.
“Do you have a condom now,” I ask and she shakes her head no,” Do you really want me to stop… right now… and go find one?”
“I don’t know… I’m just not…,” enough talking from her on the subject, I don’t like the direction.
“Emily if I have to get dressed and leave I will not be happy, I will be very… VERY angry. I will find someone to fuck, someone not you, I will give them everything you earned today. I will not come back for you now decide,” I ask and she thinks for a second.
Emily shifts her hips a little closer to me and while it’s not much it puts me just a little deeper and from there I start moving. I’m still on my knees and upright while Emily is flat on her back with her legs held up by my arms so I’m not able to get all the way in but it’s enough as I get to watch her very impressive breasts, not too big but still nice, move up and down. As wet as Emily is getting in and out of her is not as easy as I’d have thought, apparently she really doesn’t let men inside her, more for me. I’m going a little faster and she’s enjoying it but I just can’t seem to get into it.
OWN THE FEMALE. DOMINATE HER.
I move Emily’s legs up to my shoulders before pushing and leaning forward putting me all the way inside and nearly folding her in half. She’s surprised but doesn’t look to uncomfortable till I get her knees almost to her chest and back out almost all the way before pounding myself deep and hard. Emily’s face goes from surprise to shock as I pound her hard and deep, she can’t get out or move, she has to lay under me pinned and take it. I’m going hard and I feel really good when I really notice her face, it’s not looking at me or anything really, she’s not in the moment. I allow her legs to move off my shoulders and put my forearms under her shoulders so we’re face to face now.
“You like having it all be about you, don’t you,” I ask and Emily nods a little,” You’re greedy and I understand that but now… right now you’re mine. I’m going to take you hard and it’s up to you whether or not you’ll enjoy it.”
I move again this time a little less hard but still fast because I don’t feel like wasting time. She’s tight enough that I will finish quick but Emily is still not looking at me. I turn her head towards me and her eyes are closed. I lick Emily’s cheek and her eyes open wide and then I see it, she’s hiding her eyes because she’s afraid of something… me? Letting me see her have another orgasm? I don’t know what it is but we’re looking each other in the eye now and I’m going into her hard and deep only now she’s reacting to it more. It’s not a lot of reaction but when her legs wrap around mine and her hips roll up a little to help me get deeper into her I truly enjoy myself and move more eagerly if possible. Emily catches onto my now heightened feelings and wraps her arms up my back and pulls her body against mine matching each thrust till we’re only doing short slamming hits and when she begins to clamp down on me hard I can’t help it but cum and hold her down so she can’t get away while I do. I feel my whole body tense up and I allow myself to ride out the feeling, a good one, without moving. I almost expected more of a resistance or even some disappointment in me not catering to her needs but after a few minutes, could be longer or shorter since I’m not timing this. I feel like I’ve got nothing left but sheer length holding me inside Emily so I try to back out a little when two hands grab my ass and hold me in place.
“It’s yours right now, you paid the rent so enjoy it… please,” Emily asks me and I am interested in this little change.
“Seeing things a little differently,” I ask and she nods a little,” Why is that?”
“You took it… me but I did want you too. And it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Half the time when Natalie helps me she does what I need and we’re done. You were interested but put me in my place a little and I like being told I can’t be selfish,” Emily tells me and I almost chuckle, she liked being scolded by me during sex.
“Really,” I ask and she nods a little again.
“It’s a strict family thing and last boy I tried to be with was so nervous I barely got him inside me before he… finished,” her confession is refreshing actually, not sure why.
The young man is good at this isn’t he sire?
I DON’T CHOOSE WEAK ONES.
We finally untangle from each other and go about quietly cleaning up after ourselves and once dressed, mostly, Emily opens a window and lights some incense. I give her a look about that.
“I leave a strong smell and you smell like sweat,” she informs me.
We sit awkwardly before she pulls me up on the bed and decides to cuddle a little, not sure how I feel about this but after a minute or so I’m pretty good with the cuddling thing. I haven’t had much of it in any form but it’s something I think I could get used to.
GET HIM OUT OF THERE. THIS IS MAKING HIM WEAKER.
Do it yourself my lord.
We don’t get to control; we don’t get to rule over him. We influence, we guide.
A wonderful moment that has me at a complete disadvantage when the door to Emily’s bedroom opens and we both look up to see her brother, younger brother, staring at us mid sentence before closing the door as he backs up. Emily gives me a worried look, me? I smirk. I can hear the talking, it’s Chinese but I know Dad voice when I hear it. We aren’t holding each other at this point but he already starts in on her when I stand up and put myself in front of him. Ever see someone go from pissed to frozen in fear in less than four seconds, this is what it feels like to do that and I like it.
“Could I speak with your wife please,” I ask Emily’s father who backs up a little from me and says something to his son who just watched his father nearly piss himself.
How in the hell?
IT IS CALLED POWER.
It takes a few minutes but when Emily’s mother comes into the room and sees me already there and then looks at her daughter she nods to me and says some more words to her husband who listens without looking away from my gaze before responding to his wife. They talk in their own language for a few more moments before he leaves so that the three of us can speak.
“Did you have sex with my daughter,” Emily’s mom asks me and I nod,” Why?”
“Because she’s beautiful, she’s smart and she wanted me to,” I get the last part out and she looks to her daughter.
Another conversation in Chinese that I can’t make out for the life of me but after a minute or so Mom nods to me again and leaves us alone. I wait for the door to close fully before looking at Emily who is relieved and a little shocked.
“My parents serious thought I was gay, Dad was worried I’d never give him grandchildren or find a good husband,” Emily states as if she never knew, maybe she didn’t,” It’s one thing at school but my parents?”
“Guess evidence helps dispel the mythos,” I reply and she nods.
“You really think I’m beautiful,” Emily asks and I smile big and with teeth.
“I can show you again if you like,” I offer and she giggles a little, it’s cute but nervous.
We don’t again, we could but I think angry Dad and me standing up to him kind of put things in an odd place. I do get a smile from Emily’s Mom as I pass through the living room to head out. I don’t think I’ll go home yet. I need to get a few things taken care of first.
Christopher: Friday Night around 11:35 pm
Okay it sucks being a man on Hector’s crew when you have a white boy name but H don’t mind it none. Carlos is turning into a bit of a dick, yeah a few of us fucked up and beat on that little shit Guy but so what. We all thought if we just forced him to come with us and got him laid or high or something he’d cool the fuck out and problem’s solved. That boss of his, the one bigger than the Union Pres put us all on notice that we got to leave the shit alone but still man, it’d fix shit. Meet is tomorrow and we got a couple local crews that are going to help make it a bit of an event and even Carlos’s cousin has said she’s putting up serious money to get someone to challenge her and the Union even said they’d help cover the odds so she can make a little more cash. I got my ride with me at the gas station to fill up before heading back home. I was with Hector and Romeo, golden fucking goose Romeo, that guy has way too much brains and should run some of the jobs. I’m inside after filling up my ride, my abuelo’s old Chevy Caprice that Carlos and the crew helped me get restored. It’s a nice pearl white with black decal so it looks classy, like Grandpa would have wanted. I pay the old bitch at the register for my gas and some smokes, bitch keeps watching me like I’m going to rob the place. I get back in my car and start it and head home. It’s not a long trip but I see something on the road, right in the middle of it that I have to slow down for. There’s someone, not sure what, standing in the middle of the street in a big brown jacket with the hood up… and is that a mask with teeth? I slow down a little and get a good look at the freak while rolling down my window.
“Hey asshole? You high or something,” I ask and the freaks shakes it’s head no,” You got a problem or what?”
The freak in the road stares at me and I can’t see any eyes in the hood or mask. The freak show tosses something at me and with a wet sound it hits me in my face and I slam on my brakes. I check my face see blood, fucker threw a bloody something and hit me in the face… oh shit. This is the fucker that did Rolando and Juanita. My door comes open and I’m ripped out of my seat and hit the street hard. I roll to get up but the freak is on me and I’m getting fucked up in the worst way by fists and knees. I don’t know how long the beating went on before blacking out but I’m being dragged by my leg and when I kick to get my leg out of the freak’s hand it turns around and puts a boot to my face. I feel something getting wrapped around my ankle and then I hear chain on metal.
“Please… stop… don’t do this,” I ask the Freak and then I hear it.
“Pointless to weep and defend what you can’t comprehend… Hatred is guiding me wrong… Cause the faith is all gone…,” the Freak sings out before heading to the front of my car.
I can smell gasoline or something and hear the Freak throwing it all over mi abuelo’s car. I got to get this chain off and then I see the car start to move slowly… and I’m chained to the back of it.
Carlos Ortega: 12:17 AM
I’m in my room about to get some sleep, my crew cleared out a couple hours ago and we’re getting ready for tomorrow’s meet and then I get to host Guy’s family at our church and try to show the better side of my people and our community to his family and Abby. Yeah it’s a long shot to get her to see me as someone other than a supreme asshole that was watching his people kick the shit out of her brother for almost four years. Everything should be ready by tomorrow and I’m about to lie down when something is really bright outside and I step to my window to take a look. Someone’s car is rolling down the street… and it’s on fire. I look close for a second and that’s Chris’s car. I rush out my door and a few other people in the crew see the car too but they aren’t sure what is going on when I start yelling at them to get over and help out. A few fire extinguishers and a couple towels so I can grab the wheel and pull a stick out of the front end that was holding the gas pedal down so it’d drive slow enough that we’d see it.
“Oh fuck,” I hear from one of my people and look to see what they see.
At the back of the car is Chris, he works under Hector, chained to the bumper and he’s bloody all over from a beating and some road rash. I step back and take a look at everything, burning car sent down my street with one of my people bleeding at the back. Someone is sending a message. I go to check Chris, he’s bloodied and scraped up a bit but he’s alive. We get him unhooked and I start making calls to clean shit up. In thirty minutes the car is off the street and everyone back inside for the most part, a couple of my crew are keeping watch to see if anything comes this way. Chris is in my house and my Mom is watching as a ‘friend’ of the Union patches him up.
“You got out of that lucky. Any faster and you’d be in a hospital needing skin grafts,” the male nurse or whatever tells Chris who looks better now that we cleaned him up.
Mom is worried about him but not me, guess I won’t get a lecture about this since I’m helping not hurting. Marta is watching everything from the hall and when I turn to look at her she shakes her head at me. I follow her to figure out what’s up.
“This is someone pissed off at you, you get that right,” she asks and I nod.
“But who? Cops did it to Guy and now someone does it to one of us… did they mess up when they found out it was the police that did Guy,” I guess and she shrugs.
“Someone is coming after your people and they’re doing it out in front of our home. In front of Mom and Dad, you need to get your little world under control before this get’s any worse,” Marta informs me and I nod.
Yeah she’s my little sis and she doesn’t have shit to do with my people but if they are coming this close to us it’s a matter of time before someone close is hurt and I can’t let that happen.
Guy: Saturday Morning
I’m waking up late today because I can afford to and my arrival down to the breakfast table late is noticed.
“When did you get in last night,” Mom asks as I get in the dining room with a plate and some pancakes on it.
“Like eleven thirty or so, I was just driving and trying to figure out what I’m going to do for the weekend,” I answer her and she nods.
“Well I think you should try talking to Sydney,” Abby says and I give her a look,” Well she asks me about you and you have been home all the time since you and your Dad had your meltdown and rebuild she’s worried. Just saying if she’s your friend you should actually speak with her.”
“You’re right Abby, I will today,” I give Abby the right of way on the subject, she is right.
“Good, I was gonna tell you yesterday I got propositioned by Carlos,” Abby says it and I stop eating,” Not like that.”
“He wanted something from you,” Mark asks and I’m with Mark’s question.
“Yeah, he thought he could change our opinion of him and his people if we went down to his family’s church on Sunday, he said we would see the better side of him and his people,” Abby chuckles a little and I smile.
“Sure, I’m game,” I state and everyone looks at me confused,” Why not, it’s not like I’m going to change my mind or anything. It’d be funny to me to watch him fail again. Maybe they’ll try to jump me again.”
“Guy we’re not going so someone can pick a fight with you even if we did go,” Mom says and I shake my head laughing.
“Mom look at Mark for ten seconds and tell me he wouldn’t smash the face in on anyone of Carlos’s people who even said a cross word to you or anyone in our family,” I ask Mom and she thinks about it.
“I say we go,” Mr. Delauter says and everyone looks down to him,” We go, we see what they have to offer and if it’s not worth our time or Guy’s time then we politely leave as people with more respectable natures would.”
Family looks like they’re in for going which will be good for the core family unit to stand together on something after Gwen and Dad took a couple weeks to head back up north to their home. Gwen really wants me to come with them up north this summer and try to get the three of us to bond in a separate environment from the Texas home. It’s something to consider but while they’re away Dad left me his little hidey hole but he took his armaments with him. Not that I’d need them if something happened considering everything I’ve got working in my favor right now.
Tonight he is moving towards Carlos.
Yes but is that really the best decision?
Not ours to make, he’s deciding himself.
I’m not so sure about that.
Everyone looks like they’re doing well of my core family except Beth, Beth is quiet and keeps giving me some sideways looks like she knows something. Not sure what that is but after breakfast I head back to my room and stop by hers. She’s just sitting down on her bed staring at the wall, definitely odd so I step in and immediately she gives me a worried look.
“What are you doing in here,” she asks but not angry.
“Checking on you,” I reply closing the door behind me,” Seems like we need to talk.”
“What you did was way out of line,” she says and I twist my neck a little popping it.
“Was it? Was it really considering everything that’s happened? And considering you’ve been on me to get you back for some of the shit you dragged me through was it so unexpected that me doing what I did to you,” I ask and wait as she thinks.
“You could have just told me, I would have been… ready I guess,” Beth is playing with her fingernails and not looking at me.
I move to her bed and sit down next to her, she doesn’t cringe or move away but she’s not making an effort to close.
“It could have been with you okay because until I did what I did with you your mind would never have thought of it. Besides I know that we both enjoyed what happened, I mean it’s not like Brett has ever done that to you,” I state and she gives me a shocked look,” I know he hasn’t because you were so ‘into’ what was happening you couldn’t stop yourself.”
“Well then what now, you just walk around waiting to throw me down on the bed and fuck me again,” Beth asks and I shrug.
“If you really want me to,” I offer and she shakes her head no,” Well then not right now I take it?”
“I couldn’t do that to Brett, one time I can get away with more or less but I do love him,” Beth informs me and I nod.
“Not sure I know who I love, family excluded actually. I do love you all now, didn’t know if I did before but I do now,” I state and she gives me an odd look.
“Yeah well could we not repeat what happened last time,” Beth asks and I nod.
“No but… how about you stop worrying about me every time we’re in the same room together? I come around and you get quiet then you start looking at me like I’m going to take you right then and there and if nobody else in the family has picked up on it,” I explain my point to Beth,” Abby will, you two are a lot closer now than you were before.”
“So that’s it? You just do… what you did to me and now that’s it,” Beth asks and I shrug.
“We could do it again if you like and besides that it was spur of the moment really. I just felt everything that had happened and what it was between you and I and the result… well we both know that result and afterwards I did give it thought and I asked myself, was that enough for me,” I tell Beth and she finally looks at me.
“Was it,” she has to ask.
“I hope so, let’s just say if it wasn’t Brett would know by now. But I hope that… what we did… that was the end of it between us. You wanted me to get you back and I did, lucky you though,” I chuckle and she nudges me,” Hey you got to enjoy it by comparison of what I’ve wanted to do to others.”
“Yeah, but just so I know… night that it happened you were kinda out of it. Are you feeling alright,” Beth asks and I smile.
“Actually I’m feeling more now than ever,” I reply and smile, smiling is good.
I leave Beth to herself and whatever she has planned for herself today while I head to my room and turn on the game console. I’m not even on for five minutes and Emily messages me with ‘hey’… someone is still shy. I reply politely and we message back and forth when she asks me if she was any good, actually not sure if I’ve ever had a bad but how do I say that to her.
He’s still unaware?
More than tell her something she wants to hear I counter with a better question how it was for her. It’s simple enough a question but she is taking her time now and only after a few minutes does she reply… Can we try again? Now I have a real reason to smile and I answer ‘I would really enjoy that’. I get a freaking smile emoji for a response, words are better but for now I’ll accept it as an answer for now. What is good about sitting at home for the bulk of my day is I get to think about Sunday and going to church with Abby and the family at Carlos’s home turf. The idea of him selling me on his ‘innocence’ or ‘good intentions’ is almost enough to make me vomit black liquid up from my soul.
WHAT HAVE YOU TWO BEEN DOING?
Nothing of significance my lord.
REMEMBER YOUR PLACE FOOL.
Where did that come from, black liquid from my soul? Sounds like super emo shit. I message Sydney and ask her if she wants to go out with me tonight. I need a balance check and she says it’d be cool but then asks who else we’re hanging out with and I mention my family’s plans Sunday and now we’re in a full blown ‘why the fuck’ moment. It must have taken me ten minutes to explain that it actually wasn’t my idea, which as I said takes almost ten minutes before she says I’m taunting them and now I have to call bullshit. It’s not a matter of perspective as she argues in text, they keep coming at me no matter what I do so it’s not taunting technically. She asks what I’m doing tonight and I tell her that I want to head out to the big car meet that Carlos and his people will be at and now she says I’m taunting them for real. It’s a good laugh and when I invite her she gives me a non committal answer I tell her I’d like a yes or no so I know to pick her up. Again she says she’ll see if she can and it feels like she’s avoiding going with me and I state that I can take someone else if she’s busy and immediately I’m being called an asshole. Honestly? I state that I want to hang out with people close to me and that she’s top of the list outside of my family and when I look at taking someone else I’m an asshole? I’m warned not to take anyone if she doesn’t go and then there is an or else… I don’t like ultimatums and I tell her such gaining me a ‘whatever’ and to ‘do what I want’. I remember a point where I used to explain or try to why people, some people, are important to me. Why I value them above others. And right now in this moment I don’t even care to acknowledge that my best friend and possible girlfriend is bailing on me when I just want to go out and be seen and is pissed off that I’d take someone other than her when she balks at going.
ENOUGH WITH THIS NONSENSE, HE MUST FEED.
My lord he has fed recently and he is good. Might I suggest we try to repair or at least salvage the issue with the female?
FOOL, YOU WOULD HAVE HIM BEG LIKE A DOG FOR HER WHEN THERE ARE OTHERS? THIS IS YOUR WEAKNESS TRYING TO SHOW ITSELF THROUGH ON TO HIM.
Or maybe he’s trying to make sure there is someone who actually loves him?
SPEAK ABOUT THAT SUBJECT AGAIN AND I WILL BANISH YOU. HE DOES NOT NEED LOVE, LOVE DOESN’T EXIST. I WILL FEED HIM HATE AND HE WILL THRIVE.
I need to do something now, something new. Yeah I could go to the meet and completely fuck with Carlos and his people but I can do that later. What can I do right now that nobody would understand but would feel new?
Detective Escalante: Same Saturday, 1 PM
I get the call, I don’t believe what I’m hearing but I show up at the west lock up where we’ve been keeping formerly Officer Ramirez in between his few court dates because the lawyers are in a circus and as the original officer on the case I’m being asked to help get them out of the area. I see ADA Deveroe and Alden Thompson talking, not in a happy way to each other as Mark Delauter stands waiting in the wings. Oh and his son, Guy Donnelly the victim of two separate attacks, is standing with his step father with a look of expectant waiting.
“Excuse me, arguing lawyers? There are ladies present,” Guy says loud enough to be heard over the argument before he looks to me,” Hello Detective.”
“Hello Mr. Donnelly, Mr. Delauter,” I address the two civil men in the hallway,” What are you doing here?”
“Attempting to completely violate my client’s rights,” Mr. Thompson for the defense says turning to me,” They need to be removed from the facility immediately.”
“The Victim wishes to speak privately with one of his… alleged attackers. The state sees no real harm in this and Mr. Donnelly has legal counsel present and is aware that the conversation between them cannot be used in the case. Honestly I don’t see the problem you have Alden,” ADA Deveroe is screwing with Thompson, how did he get Guy in on it is the question.
“Detective Escalante, I just want to talk to him. Just once and I don’t care for the legal war right now, I just want to speak with the man one time. I know most people who have endured what I have gone through at his hands,” Guy begins and is cut off.
“Allegedly gone through at my client’s hands,” Thompson correcting a high schooler, big man.
“Yes, allegedly… right. I have asked, I have signed. Why not, handcuff and search me again so I can’t do anything to him. I want to speak to the man, just talk to him,” Guy is asking and while it is completely unheard of there are legal loopholes.
They argue, the lawyers but not Guy. He watches them and it’s like he’s figuring them out and for a second, just a split second, I see he has some of the bluest eyes ever. What shocks me the most is that they agree; Thompson spoke privately with Delauter and agreed to allow Ramirez to speak with Guy one on one but both would need to be secured. I do the search of Guy myself and he has nothing that would be dangerous I secure him in an interrogation room and wait with him while Thompson goes to speak with his client first.
“Can it be truly private,” Guy asks me and I nod but point to the camera.
“They’ll be shutting it off but I will be watching,” I state,” Just watching, they’re cutting the audio as per the agreement. When was it written up?”
“This morning, after breakfast,” Guy says and he is smiling,” Wrote most of it myself.”
“Are you studying law,” I ask, it would make sense considering his step father.
“No, I’m just really good with contracts and favors,” Guy states and again, really blue eyes.
I get the buzz, the one telling me I can step out and after I’m in the hallway I watch as Ramirez is led into the room. Three lawyers are outside while a victim and his attacker are left one on one, this could end horribly.
Formerly Officer Ramirez
Face to face with the kid, thought I’d only have to see him in court. He’s looking down at the floor, like he’s afraid of me. We sit quietly after the guard cuffs me to the table, me watching the kid and the kid watching the floor. It’s a good couple minutes when Guy finally looks up at me and I see him smiling, his face still has a few scars but he looks at me and he seems glad, like this is what he wants.
“Oh the things we could talk about,” he says and I must look confused,” Oh don’t worry, I won’t talk about anything we say in here. This is for me.”
“Thought that was what the court case was for, the victim,” I tell him and he chuckles.
“No that is so the system can feel like it’s useful. No this right here, right now. This is for me, so can you answer a question,” Guy asks and I nod, causing him to lean forward,” Why call me an ambulance?”
“I’m not going to incriminate myself,” I state knowing full well what was agreed by the lawyers.
“Stop that, that hiding behind the papers and words. I know you were the one that stabbed me while the others held me, I know because I can see it in your eyes. It’s there right now, that same look of ‘what the hell am I doing’. You also were the one who sent me on my way after your friends shocked the shit out of me, you had a pretty good idea someone would come help me soon so you sent me towards a church. So first question again, why call me an ambulance,” the kid goes into a rant, a truthful one, before asking his question again.
“I didn’t want to kill you,” I finally answer and he loses some of his smile.
“Why not, it would have worked better,” he actually says it, same as Crawford and James.
“I didn’t want you to die; I was the one that watched what was happening. My own suck ass stakeout. I couldn’t report it because it was off the books and what we were planning wasn’t ever supposed to come out. I made sure they were gone when I called the ambulance,” I explain and he listens.
“So why not confess, save yourself,” he asks and I shrug,” Loyalty? Honor?”
“No point to it, we’re all going up. Nothing going to change that,” I tell him and he leans back in his chair, then I hear it.
He’s laughing, head back and laughing. I don’t know what he’s laughing about but he’s doing it and I just have to watch and wait. It takes a minute but he finally stops and now all laughter is gone.
“You’re the small one, the weak one. They will sacrifice you when the time comes, they will sacrifice you and the one will walk away,” Guy says and what is wrong with this kid.
“Who will walk away,” I ask but I know who he’s talking about.
“The smart one, the one who started all this. The smart one will watch you burn to save their skin and you’ll suffer worst because the others will let you take the worst of it,” Guy is talking about way too much that he should not know,” but what about a deal?[/b]”
“A what,” a deal, there is no deal for this situation.
“[b]I didn’t realize you were unaware to the concept of a deal. I make them all the time and according to the law… I don’t like that word, but according to the law I’m not fully privileged as an adult,” this kid is not right, something has definitely went wrong,” Am I making you nervous? You helped make me so let’s not dwell on the fear and lets dwell on the now, shall we?”
“You don’t have anything to offer me,” I say it and he begins to chuckle again.
“What about your freedom? Or how about your respect as an officer of the… law[/b],” kid has to stop and think to say the word.
“Not something you are able to grant kid, nice try but for what it’s worth I am sorry about what I did,” I apologize to him and he shakes his head violently before focusing on me with blue eyes and I can feel him burrowing into me.
“YOU ARE NOT SORRY, I WILL HAVE YOU HUNTED. I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER, I WILL FIND YOUR FAMILY AND I WILL SEND YOU THEIR REGARDS AS I TEAR THEIR LIVES DOWN AROUND WHILE YOU SIT IN A HOLE,” and what the hell is going on with this kid,” or you acknowledge that I have power, real power. You take the hand instead of insulting it and you make the deal. All I want is the one in charge, the one who gave the orders. You let him take your place and you will be free, you have my word.”
He talks; I guess I can call it talking but this tone coming out of his mouth makes so much sense. I know everything, I have evidence stashed to get myself a lesser sentence but what he’s explaining is so much more. I nod and agree but I think about Thompson. I’m his client right along with James and Crawford but as this kid reminds me there is only room on this life raft for one and I’m the one who wanted him to live, they didn’t. I’m the one who sent him on his way after James spent hours using a stupid accent to convince him that it was the gang shocking him with a car battery. They didn’t care about what happened to him, they wanted results. I want results; I want my out for trying to do the right thing in a bad situation.
[b]Guy: Twenty five minutes after meeting with Officer Ramirez
I’m watching a lawyer’s brain implode because the legal system just horribly fucked him and the case he’s a part of, it’s actually quite beautiful. I was escorted out of my sit down with Mr. Ramirez and while I don’t remember all of what I said specifically I got my point across and now there are lawyers. One lawyer is claiming that testimony will condemn his client, one is stating that the deal is real and that the former officer is fully allowed to get outside counsel. Which he now has in the form of my Step-Father who also has a shiny new deal in his hand that is signed and ready to go and a new client in the form of the soon to be reinstated Officer Ramirez. The Detective is trying to keep the peace and the lawyer from the DA’s office just quietly giving basic instructions on how to treat the new and most valuable witness. It takes almost ten minutes for Thompson, that’s his name, to calm down somewhat and realize that his case is pretty much dead in the water. Me I’m just watching and smiling as ‘justice’ is being done and finally Detective Escalante figures out that a deal is being made, a very big deal and it’s going to change things at the foundation of her job. She finally has Thompson leave, he has no client here anymore and will be paid for the service he’s rendered so far, Mr. Deveroe the ADA and my Step-Father talk a little more and shake hands but Detective Escalante is watching me. A half an hour and I brokered a deal, a very simple deal that will gain me what I want… vengeance.
Yes, that’s how you manipulate the situation.
YOU CALL THIS VICTORY?
No we don’t, he does.
YOU ARE INFLUENCING HIS STANDARDS.
Nope, we’re just putting them first.
Now to get him… fed.
I’m outside the jail or holding facility, whatever they call it now and Mr. Delauter is smiling. I like him smiling, it means good things.
“Are you heading back towards home,” he asks me, I did bring my own car.
“No sir, I actually have some business to conclude but I will check in with Mom and make sure she knows I’m alright,” I will too, she deserves that much.
He nods in agreement and turns to his Mercedes to head home while I lean next to my car and make a phone call.
“What do you want,” Syd asks and I detect some attitude.
“To see if you want to come with me tonight,” I ask and I hear her disgust.
“You’re looking for a fight, that’s not who you are,” Sydney informs me and I shake my head.
“I’m looking to go and have a good time. I want you to come with me and we’ll both have a good time together. So what if they are where I want to go, I want to go anyway because I’m tired of everyone thinking I should avoid them. Now are you going to come with me tonight or not,” I ask and she’s quick to answer.
“No and you’re not going either. You need to think about things because you’re getting reckless. And you’re not taking anyone else with you up there,” Sydney is giving me orders and it is frustrating.
“Are you telling me what I can and cannot do,” I ask and she realizes, or I think she does, her position.
“I’m telling you what you need to do,” Syd states a little less confident than she started.
YOU WILL NOT LET THIS FEMALE DICTATE WHAT HE DOES.
No my lord, we will not.
“Well then what do you propose? I want to feel the wind in my face, I want to dance, I want to sing and I want to bring you when I do these like we should have months ago,” I remind her of our failed dance.
“I can’t tonight but that doesn’t mean you should go at all okay,” I don’t know if she’s asking or not,” Please just stay home and don’t go out to their meet tonight. Stay home and we’ll get together after school Monday alright?”
“Again you deny me some entertainment and your company? What happened,” I ask, I did think she liked me.
“I’m worried alright, my parents are worried about you… us. They want to know you are being safe and if you go you aren’t being safe,” Sydney is pleading; I don’t like begging when I know we’d have real fun.
“Come with me, I won’t do anything and I’ll walk away if they come to me. Come and be with me and we’ll just have fun,” I’m making a serious offer; I don’t want to really get their attention… well not too much.
“I can’t and if I’m not there you’ll get in trouble. Promise me you won’t go to the meet,” Syd asks and now she’s pleading.
WHY IS HE CONSIDERING HEEDING THE FEMALE’S WORDS?
I think he loves her my lord.
LOVE, YOU KEEP USING WORDS THAT HAVE NO MEANING.
Just because you do not know it my lord does not mean it doesn’t exist.
“I don’t ask you for a lot, just some time and understanding. Now you are asking me to not be who I am,” I leave that statement out for her to ponder.
“Guy, please don’t go there. Just stay away from the races tonight please… for me,” Syd is going low on this one.
“Fine I will stay away from the races. Does that make you happy? Does me not being who I am make you feel better,” I ask and I’m not feeling very nice right now.
“Guy you staying away from there makes me feel better. And you’re doing it for me and that’s not a bad thing,” Syd is trying to justify her now agreed upon request.
“Don’t make me eat shit and expect me to like it Sydney. Enjoy your night,” I end our call and resist the urge to break my phone.
What always confuses me about people, they ask you for something you know you will not like. They know it is not what you want or need yet they ask anyway and when you give it to them and they know you do not enjoy it they expect you to be happy. Sydney sends me a message thanking me and promises that she’ll see me Sunday; I tell her I have plans and I’ll be busy. I don’t get a reply to that but at least it’s true, Sunday we go to church. My Step-father has left but I still have my car with me and I need to cool down, a lot, so I go for a drive. I don’t quite pick a spot to drive to, so much as just get on the roads and start driving, not sure where I’m going but it’s not long before I end up somewhere not at the big races I should be at.
My lord what are you doing influencing him to come here.
Not him actually.
You know why, settling business.
She sees me, it’d difficult not to see me considering my car probably costs more than the other four vehicles out in front of the taco truck. I pull in park before cutting the engine and just waiting outside my vehicle. Lupe is taking orders, she’s the only female in the truck so a soft face helps entice men to order more, good strategy but it doesn’t take long before she sees me and as soon as the latest order is made I watch the back of the truck open and here she comes. Not super pissed off but definitely not happy to see me.
“What are you doing here,” she asks as soon as she’s five feet away from me.
“You and I have unfinished business,” it’s all I have to say before the attitude drops.
“Hector said he was gonna get that contract from you, he said you’d call it even and leave me alone,” Lupe’s attitude is less than inspiring.
“Is that what he said? Well then I’m happy to prove him wrong yet again,” I tell her with a smirk,” See Lupe, I bet even if you called him he’d be too busy to come down here and make things even for you. See he’s too busy taking care of his boys and what is, to him mind you, more important. Now let’s be honest about something right here. Do you think he’s actually committed to your relationship?”
“What? Of course he loves me,” she says the words but doesn’t answer the question.
“I never said love, I said committed. There is a difference. See if you love someone you can do all manner of things and just expect them to be alright because ‘you’re in love’. But when you are committed to someone you do things that wouldn’t hurt them because you want what’s best for them and if he wanted what’s best for you he’d have done something to get that contract back by now wouldn’t he,” I ask and now she’s got doubts.
“Maybe, his friend Carlos said to leave you alone,” she’s grasping at straws.
“And yet here I am with you and I want… to make you a deal,” I tell her with a smile, my smile.
“We already have a deal and I want that over and gone,” Lupe tells me and I continue to smile.
“That is what you want; I want to open your eyes. I want to show you how… pathetic your relationship to Hector really is and then I want you to break up with him,” I tell her and she laughs at me.
“You’re fucking with me,” a quick response that goes from a laugh to disbelief,” you are serious? You think you can convince me to break up with Hector? Why?”
“I can’t convince you of anything honestly. I am simply going to open your eyes and when I’m done opening your eyes you’ll break up with him for your own betterment. Yes I made a deal with you and I used you to hurt him… that I admit however not once have I ever came after you with direct harm. I figured you’d be awake enough to turn around and see that Hector is not your future, he’s a stalling point,” I’m just making small talk really; her own mind will make the decision.
“So you convince me that I don’t need hector and I break up with him then you give me the contract and that’s it,” She asks and I shake my head.
“No, either way you get the contract. What I ask for is your open mind, see things from a perspective outside of your… love and see them as they truly are,” I tell her, she’s thinking again, just like when she signed the first time.
“Okay, how long do I have to listen,” she asks and I smile.
“Oh, probably less than an hour. The rest will be all up to you,” I explain and so it begins.
Carlos: About 11 pm that night
It’s a big ass party and my people are relaxing in style. We had a good haul for the Union and even with what happened to Juanita and Rolando, then Chris just a night ago, we’re still trying to relax. I got Chris’s car to Dutch and he’s gonna make it better than new while Chris is going to take a little more time to heal up. Some of my people are out dancing, some are partying but mostly we’re tranquilo and feeling good when I hear someone call out a name I don’t usually hear.
“Lupe baby, what you doing out here,” Hector asks his girlfriend who is here now; he never brings her to these.
“I’m here because you won’t answer your phone, you won’t answer your texts so I had to come down here myself,” Lupe is a bit pissed which for most of our women means get ready to duck.
“Hey Lupe, welcome to the party. Want a drink,” I offer trying to disarm the bomb.
“No Carlos, I won’t be here that long,” she says without even looking at me, Hector what did you do?
“Baby I didn’t hear my phone,” he says and pulls out his phone only to have her snatch it out of his hand,” Honey, what the hell?”
“What the hell honey exactly Hector? I’ve been sending you messages since six, five hours ago. I want to see you, I have good news, baby pick up we need to talk. These would sound familiar if you would answer a fucking message,” Lupe is really pissed and she’s got his phone out and opens his messages.
She tosses Hector his phone so he can see and I take a look over his shoulder, it starts good but gets worse as it goes. More and more she’s getting upset at him and the last message reads ‘I’m coming out there’. Well here she is and she does not look happy.
“Baby I’m sorry but I didn’t hear my phone, you’re here now and we can sit back and relax…,” Hector is offering a spot I honestly wouldn’t deny her with my people.
“Hell with sit back and relax, you’ve been sitting back and relaxing for weeks. I want an answer, what are you doing to get that contract back,” Lupe asks and that’s where I have to step in.
“I’ve been holding him back on that,” I say the words and she finally does look at me.
“So have you been the one telling him that he needs to be a little bitch and not own up to his shit to get the contract back? Is that you Carlos or is it just because Hector wouldn’t know how to own up to his shit if you handed him instructions,” Lupe comes out swinging and Hector is surprised.
“Baby we’ve tried talking to him,” Hector steps back into the line of fire.
“Have you put your own fucking head on the block to help me? Have you even bothered to talk to me about why I’d fuck around for less than a thousand dollars with a stranger on camera? No, you just sat there like a sad little man. Yeah you got mad at everyone but as soon as you find out its Guy who is doing this you hide from the consequences,” Lupe is swinging for the fences and knocking them out of the park.
“Lulu baby, he never asked me for anything for the contract,” Hector says and that’s where I’d have to step in but Lupe does it for me.
“He never asked but you never offered shit. I made a deal and you wanted me out of it, for us I agreed and you said you’d handle it. So now you’re telling me he never asked you for anything? Wake up Hector, you needed to man up and own your shit with him. You beat on him for over three years and it didn’t even occur to you that going to his family’s home and maybe apologizing would be a good idea,” Lupe says it and hell I wasn’t even brave enough to do that.
“Baby you don’t understand,” Hector starts but she’s still going.
“I don’t understand weak bitchy man-boy, I really don’t but I’ve been dating one for less than a year and I’m not impressed with what I’ve been getting out of this arrangement. I asked you for money to help with my bills and you said you couldn’t afford it but you come by the truck for free lunches on the weekends. I ask to spend time with me or even wait and take me out with you when I’ve been working but you leave me behind for what,” she waves her hands at the crew who are looking,” Now I’m going to ask you what are you going to do about Guy and this contract right now?”
“Listen Lupe, I screwed up but let me talk to him tomorrow at church. I’ll ask him for it and say I’m sorry,” Hector has the right idea but Lupe isn’t convinced.
“I didn’t ask about tomorrow, I asked about today. That means right here and right now, get your car and we’ll drive to his place right now and you can beg or whatever for it,” Lupe tells Hector but he’s hesitating,” Really? You’re too scared to go right now and be a man?”
“Lupe, I promise you that tomorrow at church we’ll talk to him. I’ll go with Hector and I’ll make him an offer to get that contract back. I’m sorry that it’s been so long but we’ve been trying to make peace with Guy for a long time and I’m hoping tomorrow we can really start that. Hector will go with me and we’ll make sure…,” I’m trying to help my boy here but Lupe is not interested what I have to say.
“Carlos this isn’t about you and Hector so please shut up,” she says it and I figure I probably should for Hector’s sake,” Hector what are you going to do? Tell me right now… RIGHT now? What are you going do to get the contract back?”
“Baby, tomorrow at church I’ll talk to him. I’ll go, it’ll just be me and I’ll ask him for it,” Hector is missing the point I think,” If he says no I’ll tell him I’ll do anything for it. I swear baby I’ll just offer him whatever he wants.”
“Then what, what happens when you get it back,” Lupe asks expecting a very specific answer.
“Then we’re fine and fuck him,” I almost put my hand over his mouth, too late though.
“Really? Just back out of your word on my behalf since all this started because of you,” Lupe asks and Hector is confused… or scrambling… or both.
We’re all waiting for her to blow up but she just shakes her head and I think laughs a little, kind of a pity laugh. She’s got a light coat on and from inside she pulls out a couple papers stapled together. She already had the contract and Hector just fucked up.
“Baby you got it,” Hector asks and I swear he needs to think more,” Baby we’re clear, no more of his shit hanging over our heads.”
“No Hector, over my head. See he told me I’d get the papers tonight but I had to have an open mind and ask some very specific questions and I did but now that I have the answers I know that you are a coward. You have no respect for me, no honor and why the fuck would I want to be in a relationship when you,” Lupe pokes him in the chest with the papers,” won’t even man up and accept responsibility for shit you got me into?”
“Baby I would have I swear,” Hector is too little too late.
“No you wouldn’t you just said you wouldn’t so let me explain a few things that you should know. I know that you don’t respect me, you obviously don’t love me or you would have done anything to get these papers back as soon as you knew it was him,” Lupe explains and while most of our ladies would step up they are holding back and not because of me,” But I don’t respect you either and I know for a fact now that I could do so much better than a four minute car backseat when we can’t use my apartment cause my roommates are home and you’re scared they’ll hear you. I LIVE WITH TWO GUYS! I hear them screwing each other all the time.”
“Lupe I do love you. It’s Guy, he gets in your head and screws with what you see and hear,” Hector is trying and I think he’s kind of right about Guy for once.
“He did get in my head but he showed me the truth and you confirmed it. Now here’s where I cut this off because I need to. We’re done, we’ve been done since week three but I’ve been too afraid to just move on so don’t come by for tacos when you’re stoned and hungry cause we won’t serve you for free anymore,” she is ripping his heart out but I can tell there’s more,” I even offered to come back and sleep with him, Guy, if he was right and you know what he told me? ‘Two people I completely despise have had you and honestly I don’t want the connection’. He wouldn’t be with me because of you and the jock he had me screw which Hector… I wasn’t faking it with him. Not for one minute and it lasted over twenty. Now go back to your boys, go be with the homies and I’m going to go make a life for me without you.”
We all watch her turn and walk away, I think she caught a ride out here but I don’t follow her or have anyone else follow her. We’re picking up Hector off the pavement, his heart anyway, and trying to get him back to at least talking. Man isn’t even crying and he loves Lupe but shit, if I knew how to help him with this I would but instead we just put beers in his hand till he can’t stand up and pour him into the back of my car. Hell I don’t even care if he throws up back there… I do actually care but not enough to stop from driving him home and put him in his own bed. I catch his uncle passed out on the couch, lazy sack, Hector keeps all their shit going by being my right hand and now it cost him his girl. I get home and settle down about one in the morning so I can wake up and get to service with my family.
I didn’t drink that much so waking up was easy enough and I’m not going for nice crew appropriate clothes, I’m dressing up nice today and as soon as Mom sees me she gets very happy and goes on and on about how I should try meeting one of the nice girls we go to church with. My mother and her quest to get me married, it is kind of her job as a Mom though. Mom and Dad drive their car with Marta over and I take my own car over to the church and head inside with mi familia. My crew took a queue from me this morning and we’re not in our colors today, gotta try to play it cool as we or maybe just me show the Delauter family we’re not the pieces of shit they think we are. It’s only about ten minutes and my family and I are close to the front when I can tell something is up and I get to turn and see the whole Delauter family, like all of them not just Guy and Abby walk in. Hell Liz even brought her boyfriend. I watch as they look around for a moment and take a row towards the back mostly because they take half a row themselves and I want to get them a spot up front but I don’t want to push them. Everyone settles in and service begins. From there it’s pretty basic, sing and pray then listen to Father Gomez read from the bible before speaking to us about a lesson for the week.
“We had a few hymns this week but I heard something I have never heard before. It was harmony, I heard voices new and old in harmony and that is something we’ve been neglecting for a long time. We’re a strong church but we’re not an isolated one. Now I see that one of our more influential families has come to our church this Sunday and I’d like to welcome those who don’t know them. They are the Delauter family, welcome,” Father Gomez greeting them might not go well.
He continues to speak about bringing people together and a more united look at the world around us. Looking out for people because they are people and not because they live in the same ten blocks as us, he’s taking a shot at my people and I know it but it’s true and I won’t even bring it up to him if we talk late. Thankfully Mom and Dad don’t notice and just listen in, Marta does and looks at me a little before turning back to pay attention to Father Gomez. Father Gomez finishes and we sing our final hymn and service breaks up and most people head out to their cars so we can get to the park and everyone can have a picnic, I picked this weekend for a reason. Whole Church tries to get together once a month in the spring/summer to have a big barbeque/picnic and now I have to try to get Guy and his family to come. I head over to where Guy is standing talking with his sister while his parents talk to Father Gomez and it’s a hand on my shoulder, Marta actually, that stops me.
“Are you going to invite them to the barbeque,” She asks and I nod,” Let me, you’ll screw it up.”
I would like to think that I wouldn’t completely screw it up but the odds are not in my favor to as or invite Guy or his parents to anything. I watch Marta approach Abigail and Guy and after a little bit of talking Guy leaves the girls and moves over to his parents and after talking with them, it doesn’t look like a bad talk. I go back to Mom and Dad and wait with them; Mom is interested in what everyone is bringing when Marta comes back and gives me a nod. Now they’re coming to the church barbeque. Mom and Dad head home to grab a few things Mom had prepared for the barbeque and I get to change a little, just something nice but casual and non gang related. I let my people spread the word that they should keep the colors hidden for now. I drive the food to the park next to the church so since I have and empty back seat and help Mom unload the food she made and then I settle in and let my crew gather. It doesn’t take long and Juanita is here with Romeo which is good but Hector is not here which is better, can’t trust his temper right about now after Guy had his talk with Lupe yesterday. It doesn’t take me long to find him, Guy that is, he’s sitting a with his parents and Abby, no Mark or Beth here. The family is talking but Guy is just watching people like he’s waiting for something. A few of the other Dad’s get some of the grills up and burning and start working on the few foods that need cooking right now while everyone else is either snacking or walking around socializing, yes I know the word I am smarter than people give me credit for.
Almost an hour and a half and aside from Abby talking with Marta and Father Gomez visiting with Guy’s Mom I haven’t seen them try to socialize or even really speak with any of the other families. Worst part is Mom and Dad are noticing it too and with my Mom firmly believing that I’m a good person and that all you need is talk with people and you can work everything out like a good catholic. Guy and his family are sitting at a table; one with the benches built in as Mom and Dad grab their plates and without any warning have Marta and I stand up and go over to the Delauter table. Dad decides to do the introductions.
“Hola Mr. and Mrs. Delauter, I am Julio Ortega and this is my wife Margarita. You know my daughter Marta,” Dad nods to sis,” And this is my son Carlos.”
“Hello Julio, you can call me Mark and my wife is Loretta. You both know my daughter Abigail and my step son Guy,” Mr. D says in greeting to my Dad and Mom,” Was there something we could help you with?”
“We would like to sit with your family. My son has made a big… production about having your family come down to visit our church today and while we’ve met we’ve never really spoke but thanks to my boy we can take the time to get to know each other,” Momma says to the Delauter’s and they get a very amused look on their faces.
And we sit, and we eat, and the adults talk sometimes including us younger near adults. Even Marta and Abigail talk to each other but Guy doesn’t even look at anyone in my family or even at Marta who he liked for a little while. When his Mother mentions something to bring him in the conversation he keeps his response very short and immediately goes back to slowly eating his food. I don’t know what is going on in his head but what I’m seeing here is Guy completely uninterested in my family and anything we have to offer. At least the conversation is nice and everyone is smiling. I just keep waiting for a chance to say something to Guy, something with a purpose or meaning when he pulls out his phone and starts talking to someone. He’s smiling as he steps away from the table and continues to talk.
“My children know not to have conversations on their phones at the table,” Guy’s Mother explains as my parents nod.
“Can’t take it away all the time but when at home it is best they leave them in their rooms,” my Mom says to Guy’s and both nod.
“What are your son’s plans after his second year of High School,” Mr. Delauter says it and it’s almost an insult I think.
“Well he has some independent work that he uses to help pay the bills; mostly our son has been waiting for his sister to graduate so he doesn’t have to keep an eye on her. That school our children go to is a tough place,” Dad answer and I cringe at his remarks about school.
“It shouldn’t be,” Guy’s Mother says and she is looking right at me.
“Yes, my son has told of us of his… actions and what he and his friends have done. He asked your son into our home when he told us but your son was not interested in his apology and even afterwards your son helps ours. He is forgiving…,” Mom says explaining my family’s side of the situation that has occurred.
“That’s because some things are too big to forgive. Three years of what your son and his friends did to Guy is enough to make me want to file legal action if there were an option. Even if there was Guy has asked me to stay back from it and let him handle it which he has been in his own way,” Mr. D says he knows about what Guy has been doing and I almost want to out his step son to him.
“And what is your son doing if I might ask,” my Dad asks and that’s when the subject of conversation decides he’s done with his phone call.
“Whatever I want. See you’re nice people, you never did anything to me aside from finding out your son has been torturing and beating me for three years and your reaction was to smile and hug your boy as if you thought this was a good thing to happen to a wealthy white male,” Guy answers and Mom is a little shocked at him being so direct.
“My son and you should talk privately or maybe with Father Gomez. I understand you were hurt and that it was in no small part to my son and his friends but maybe this is a time for moving forward,” Dad says to Guy who smiles.
“Or time for burying the past,” Guy says it and looks right at me,” But no, I have nothing for him and he has nothing I would take that he could offer. I don’t believe in forgiveness, I believe in forethought. If your son had taken the time and thought about what his friends were doing to me he would have stopped, if he was a truly good person like you believe he is three years ago when I was looking at him as he was struggling with his algebra to help him he would have asked me like a person.”
“Why didn’t you say something then,” Marta asks looking between me and Guy.
“Because there were a half dozen loud, angry Latinos surrounding me asking me questions in two languages when I only understand one and when I tried to speak I was physically assaulted. Then when I did what everyone says you’re supposed to do like tell the people in charge your son,” Guy looks right at my Father when he says it,” He told everyone who did see that they need to keep their mouths shut. He used his position to make sure his friends could continue to beat and humiliate me in front of everyone because he could get away with it.”
“Can we talk, just you and me” I ask Guy and I really just want to put this between us as he is making my family look bad.
“Sure, want to get a dozen of your friends to join us so you feel safe,” he answers but he’s laughing at me.
I get up from the table and Dad gives me a nod of approval or at least acceptance that I’m really trying. Guy doesn’t move at first so I lead and he walks a little behind me as I head away from pretty much everyone. Only person I even try to call over is Father Gomez but Guy catches me.
“Invite the Priest and I swear I will embarrass you in front of your mother,” Guy says it and it almost sounds like he wants me to anyway.
I don’t know where I’m really going to take Guy to talk but as soon as I can’t see anyone he decides to start for me.
“So this is where we hide my body,” I turn around and look at him, he’s smiling,” Just a joke, it’s not like you can kill me anyway.”
“I never tried,” I am just trying to get something out more but he finds this funny.
“No because you like torture, but seriously you can’t kill me,” he says and I see he’s serious.
“I don’t want to,” I am trying to get out something to try to explain how I feel but he’s quick to stop me.
“The words of someone who actually can’t. If I can’t do it then I’ll just say I don’t want to and then it looks like a choice. Honestly I was hoping you’d ask me for a deal or something, that would be interesting actually. You owing me a boon,” Guy seems entertained by that idea.
“Okay, so what do I get,” I ask and now he’s stalled,” Seriously, I ask for whatever I want and in return I have to do something or give up something right? That’s how the deals work?”
“Someone’s been snooping around… but no matter, if I were offering a boon it would be for what you desire and what you will ask for you don’t desire, not really,” he says it looking straight into my eyes.
“I want your forgiveness, your respect and your friendship,” I don’t even realize I just said it and Guy laughs at me,” It’s what I want.”
“It’s not what you desire, see I like more base creatures. They know what they want and they are ready to ask for it. Like Brandon, he wanted his chance to get that scholarship, he put in his bid and he knew exactly what to ask for and I gave it to him and then time to pay came around and he paid. Not the way he expected but it was the payment I wanted nevertheless,” Guy explains and it doesn’t matter what he says, I want this.
“I told you want I want, write it down and I’ll sign it,” I tell him and he laughs a little.
“Again you aren’t hearing me; it’s not what you desire. You want this because you think it’ll lead to what you really want. Now if we’re going to play this little game you might want to start following the rules,” he says it like he knows more about me than I thought, not much of a chance but maybe.
“Then what do I desire? If you know then tell me because I know what I want, it’s what I’m asking for so what is it,” I figure if I can challenge him on it he’ll give me what I ask for when he’s wrong.
“Hmmm, a test is it? Very well… You’re alone, surrounded but alone… you have companions but you want a partner… a lover… you’re not into men so it’s a woman… you have those but you want something else… pure… unattainable… you torture yourself over her and she causes you despair, interesting…,” it’s Guy talking but I don’t know what is happening to him,” it’s not just desire, you have that with her but it’s worse… love… you want her love and you can’t have it… it’s worse because you almost could have save for… me? I’m the reason you lost her or can’t have her… oh this is such wonderful agony you have. I can actually taste it in the air because you’re thinking about her right now… you can’t stop thinking about her and now I have it. No.”
“What? Who is it you think I want,” I ask but I know, he knows I know and I swear to God he must know.
“It’s a secret, a whisper that if you ever uttered it your shame and pain would be laid bare for not just anyone to see. I’d see it, I’d taste it, I’d bathe in it. Say the name,” Guy is toying with me.
“I want your respect and your forgiveness,” I ask but he is smiling, God his smile is big.
“Say… the… name…,” he’s walking around me now, like a dog around a bloody rat,” I’ll make the deal, I’ll write the contract and we’ll sign it. Then I’ll make it happen but you must say it.”
“I can’t… I just can’t Guy,” dear God make him stop, dear God help him… help me.
“HE CAN’T HEAR YOU, I WON’T LET HIM,” Guy’s voice is horrifying,” Now say the name and it will be done.”
“Abigail,” I whisper it but I know he can hear me.
“Agreed,” a simple answer and I drop to my knees,” Get off your knees, this isn’t church and I’m not God. He asks his people to bow, I want them to look and see.”
Guy stands me up and brushes dead grass of my slacks like I’m a child and I feel like one right now. I didn’t want to ask for Abigail, I didn’t want to but I did and now he knows he can use that to hurt me and it’s not that I don’t deserve it but still. We walk back and the whole way he’s smiling and as we reach the edge of the picnic ground and Guy stops me and smiles.
“What,” I ask, I really have no clue what is going on with him.
“Smile, you’re about to get what you want and unlike your friend your relationship will have something more to it than free food and bad sex,” Guy informs me about Hector a little from when he talked to Lupe.
We make it back to our families and Guy sits down and smiles at his Mom before grabbing a plate and heading back to the tables for more food. Mom and Dad want answers but they aren’t going to ask now with Guy’s family watching. I keep an eye on Guy, I mean he’s just getting food but still something is going on when I hear the bass of a car. Nobody is stupid enough to come here blasting music and I see a few of my crew looking to the parking lot when I see him… Hector.
“Motherfucking pendejo! Where are you motherfucker,” Hector is loud, really loud and he is pissed.
I don’t even have to guess who Hector is looking for; first thing I look for is Guy who is looking to where my swearing friend is yelling from. Hector is moving through the people now, the crew and their families and the uninvolved families are watching as Father Gomez is moving to stop Hector. Me? I’m moving to stop Hector before he makes a mistake he can’t get anyone to bail him out of. I’m about twenty feet away from Hector when I see Guy standing a little bit behind Father Gomez and he looks confused as to why Hector is looking at him.
“You come into our church and think you one of us,” Hector is shooting off his mouth, one of his worst traits.
“Your church? I thought it was God’s church and all were welcome? Do my family and I need to leave,” Guy looks like he’s talking to Father Gomez who is trying to keep Hector back and talk to Guy at the same time.
“Hector, back off you’re not thinking,” I tell my boy stepping in between him and Father Gomez whispering,” And you’re drunk. Go home and get cleaned up, I’ll check on you later.”
“NO! I’m gonna settle this with that slimy shit right now,” Hector yells and tries to push me out of the way,” What are you doing?”
“Hector… no. Go home,” I tell him and he’s my friend but I can’t be friendly right now.
“You taking his side, you backing him after what he did to me,” Hector asks and I am finally done.
“You know what H, yes I am. You know what Guy did, he told Lupe the truth and he told her that her relationship with you was bad. That’s what this is about; Guy was just doing the right thing and helping her see it, understand? Now go home, I am not going to ask you again,” I tell Hector and now we’re almost face to face.
“Or what? I’ve been doing your dirty work and cleaning up all the mess you can’t handle for years and you trying to look at me like you don’t know what I do,” Hector is whispering in Spanish but more than a few people know what he means,” Either you handle this or I will.”
“I’m right here Hector, your move. Walk away and calm down or see what happens because I’m not moving,” I tell my friend and now I’m really not sure what is going to happen.
It’s about a minute before Hector does anything but it’s the smartest move he could make by backing up and walking away from me, swearing in Spanish all the way back to his car. I don’t take my eyes off him till he’s in his car pulling away. I see Guy’s parents and mine coming over to us and I get to turn to see Guy’s face, he looks a little shaken up by this. This scared him?
“Honey are you alright,” Guy’s Mom asks him and he nods before speaking.
“You said you were serious about keeping an eye on me months ago but I didn’t think you’d stand up to your own friend for me,” Guy says and now everyone is looking at me.
“I don’t know… it just needed to stop. I had to stop it and…,” I am trying to explain but I feel like I’m on display as everyone is looking at me.
My Mom and Dad are proud of me; Guy’s step father is shaking my hand. Guy’s Mom gives me a hug and thanks me. My sister is smiling at me and my people are nodding their approval. I don’t know what just happened but even Father Gomez is smiling at me for what I just did. I take a minute, hell I take more than a few just to figure out what everyone is doing and then I see it. I am the hero; I’m the good guy in this. How the fuck did that happen? I have been towing this line for months, I have been trying to convince everyone that I’m serious about leaving Guy alone and making peace and now everyone is praising me for it when not two hours ago nobody believed me.
Hours later my people and I are helping the clean up and I’m carrying trash to a dumpster when Marta comes over and nudges me. I see she’s smiling at me and I just shake my head at her cause I have no fucking clue what is going on.
“Abigail asked me for your number,” She says it and I drop four bags on the ground,” Might need to pick that up.”
“She did what,” I have to ask because this is too weird.
“I gave her your number and she’s coming over to hang out next weekend, Mom and Dad said it was nice because she stopped coming over after Freshman year but she seems like she wants to actually come around now,” Marta knows something and she’s playing with me,” Maybe it’s because someone is actually trying to be the person he keeps telling everyone he is.”
Yeah she’s fucking with me but she’s also telling the truth. I get the trash in the dumpster and look around for a bit. My people are doing alright and things actually seem a little better, I see Abigail heading to her parent’s car and she looks at me. Not with disgust or anger but she just looks, smiles a little and gets in the car. I don’t know what’s going when I see Guy catch up and he looks at me too then he smiles, not like Abby did. I don’t know how but he just gave me everything I asked for and what I desire… but what is the cost?
Guy: About an hour and a half later
I’m not home right now even though Abby is feeling a little better and my parents are glad to see that things are getting better for me with the bullies and the gang. Not like I didn’t completely know it was going to happen but that is the nature of the… we me. Right now as for my location I’m at Jackie’s apartment. Well it’s technically our apartment but she lives there, I’m just on the lease and after Hector’s little shouting match at me then Carlos taking a stand she messaged me three times saying she had a problem and needed my help because of the rules. I made the rules and I’m really curious how she’s using rules I made for her to get me to help her from doing something that will make me mad at her. It’s an interesting situation. I changed out of Sunday clothes and into a t shirt and jeans as I’m standing outside Jackie’s door; I knock even though I have the key. Manners and all that.
“Guy, you got my message,” Jackie asks and I see she’s been doing well, mostly.
“I did get your messages, you said you needed me to help enforce the rules I put in for you,” I have to ask because it is a curious thing.
“Let me show you,” Jackie says as I step in and follow her.
The apartment looks good but a little messy, like she hasn’t cleaned in a day or two and usually Jackie is big on keeping things clean even when I’m not coming around to see how she’s doing. I see she has her work clothes on, I know she got a basic job waitressing food at a bar and grill which is good. I think so at least since she had no real job prospects and got it on her own without me helping. I am at the bedroom door and she shows me inside. There is a person… not sure the gender but it’s wearing a tank top and shorts laying face down on Jackie’s bed, I do make out some badly done platinum blonde hair around the ears matted from sweat. I look at Jackie and shrug; I don’t know what she’s asking. She closes the door so the sleeping thing doesn’t wake up.
“That’s Bobbie,” Jackie says it like I have intimate knowledge of people crashing out in her/our apartment.
“Good for Bobbie? Are we asking for a revision of the rules for your… friend,” I more ask about the word friend than the rules, my answer will mostly be no.
“No I’ve been trying to get Bobbie out of my place for two days and she just won’t leave,” I know the gender now,” I let her crash out after we were having a little fun… okay a little drinking but not here in the apartment and now she’s trying to live here.”
“And you expect me to come down here and be the bad Guy,” my joke so people should laugh.
“I need help and I can’t seem to get her to listen, now I have to get to work in like,” Jackie checks her watch,” twenty minutes and she’s still here, I can’t leave her here alone. I don’t know what she’ll do.”
“I am going to drive you to work first, then I am going to come back here and make sure, absolutely sure that she is taken care of and that the place is well taken care of for you,” I tell Jackie who wants to stop me at cleaning,” No arguing I am going to help but I require a hug first.”
I get a goofy smirk from Jackie and a hug, she’s nice people and more importantly she’s my nice person/friend. I drive her to work and make sure she’s early while getting a few looks at the car, I like my car and it gets attention and I am beginning to like attention too. More importantly I get back to the apartment and find myself a little disgusted with the state now that I know that this ‘Bobbie’ is freeloading on Jackie’s bed. I think about things for a moment then an idea, a wonderful awful idea comes to me and I smile.
I start cleaning, picking up trash and bagging it up. A little sweeping in the kitchen. I set up to run a load of dishes and then take out my bagged trash then I move to the bedroom. I can pretty much tell what is Jackie’s and what isn’t so I take care of Jackie’s clothes folding them and putting them away or hanging them up when needed in her closet before I figure out what all belongs to ‘Bobbie’ and begin to rummage through it like a raccoon in a dumpster outside a good restaurant. Dirty somewhat boyish clothes, some very not so boyish slut wear, normal dirty underwear, not dirty thong, some money, and a wallet. Odd that the money wasn’t in the wallet but Roberta Zaleski, is that Russian, doesn’t seem like the type to care about money if she doesn’t need to pay rent or buy food. I bag it all up in a black trash bag before I decide it’s clean up and start the bathroom shower. The bathroom door is through the bedroom which means I have a straight shot from the bed to the shower and the water is running loudly when I see Roberta begin to stir. I move quickly getting a pair of scissors, look like hair scissors, and wait with my back to the bed and finally I hear a voice. A raspy confused and very tired voice.
“What… what is going on? Who are you,” Bobbie asks and I smile, I can feel it boiling inside me.
“Roberta… Roberta…,” I’m calling in my sing song tone,” You’ve been a bad bad girl Roberta. You come into my home. You eat my food. You sleep in my bed and you don’t contribute.”
“Who the hell are you,” amazing choice of words from Roberta,” My name is Bobbie.”
“That isn’t what she called you when you were born, she called you Roberta and you were beautiful once,” I still haven’t turned around,” Now you are in my home and know Roberta that it is MINE.”
“This is Jackie’s apartment man and she’s gonna be home soon, you might want to get out of here,” Roberta informs me and I’m smiling, okay I’ve been smiling but it’s prey that hides behind others.
“No, she’ll be back after her shift. I drove her to work before coming back to what is mine and finding you still here. Your things are in the black bag, leave,” I tell Roberta looking over my shoulder,” Or you will be made clean.”
“What the hell are you on? You need to leave before I call Jackie and she calls the cops,” I can hear Roberta behind me now.
“Clean it is,” I state and now I’m done talking.
One quick turn and a hand out to grab Roberta by the blonde hair on her head on the side of her head and move her towards the shower, she struggles and I smell fear as I walk her into the shower. It takes about four seconds before she realizes that I’ve been running the shower on the coldest setting and that’s when the screaming begins so I put her face under the water.
“Time to clean the livestock, a clean animal is a happy animal,” I am singing and smiling as I make sure she is all wet.
Roberta doesn’t know what to do considering the shock and I shake her a little to make her more alert. I don’t repeat myself but I do get the scissors and start cutting down the front of her dirty tank top and pull it off to see what I’m working with. She’s thin, hasn’t had a lot of consistent meals but her skin isn’t riddles with sores or anything disgusting. I note her chest, small and unaccustomed to a bra so they are a little saggy but still young and round. I note she has not taken off her shorts.
“Forgetting something,” I ask and pull her face out of the water,” Don’t give me a reason to use the toilet to clean you instead of the shower.”
Roberta is cold, shaking but she strips out of her shorts and drops them outside of the tub and I release her hair and pick them up off the floor and place them in the sink so they don’t make a puddle on the floor. I can hear more water on the tub floor and not on skin.
“Stay in that water, use that bar of soap and clean yourself. When you believe you are done and clean then you will do it again. When you think that twice is enough you will do it AGAIN,” I order Roberta who doesn’t answer,” I will tell you when you are done.”
I stand and watch her clean herself, it’s not pleasant for me in the slightest since she’s not Jenna or Emily. I think of Sydney who has a little more meat than Roberta and Syd is thin, then I remember not going out last night and I’m angry again. NO! No rage now, not now this is not the place and time for it. I’ll deal with Sydney later, right now Roberta is scrubbing herself to keep warm and not make me snatch her by the hair and put her face in the water. It must take twenty minutes before I see clear water in the bottom of the tub and reaching in shut the water off. Now that I can get a good look at her she’s a little plain and very thin, nothing of worth and I smile before looking at her nude form.
“Take a blade and shave that,” I don’t break eye contact and she knows exactly what I’m talking about.
I step out of the bathroom and as soon am out of sight I hear her breathing, it’s ragged and shallow but I can’t tell if more for fear or cold. I can hear a razor blade across skin and some grunts as she shaves herself before I go looking through her things again. I pull out overalls and a blue t shirt and drop them in front of the bathroom door.
“Dress, pick up your things in the bag and meet me in the living room. Don’t make me wait,” I tell her walking away.
Less than two minutes and she went looking for panties, I know because I heard her search but she’s dressed and still a little damp from not drying off. Her bag is in one hand and she’s got a bit of a shiver. I walk around behind her and size up this female thing.
“What are you,” I ask and she is thinking.
“I don’t know,” I hear Roberta mumble and I lean in behind her.
“You were a parasite, you come in where you find a place to dig in and you made everything dirty. I cleaned my place, my place that I got for my friend Jackie and you soiled it with your rudeness and your leeching. Now I have cleaned it and I’ve cleaned you. Now you are nothing, do you understand,” I ask and she whimpers.
“I’ll leave,” she starts to move and I hiss.
“Where will you go without me? Who will you find? What will you take from them? I can’t allow you to do this to another. No my little nothing, you trespassed in my world. I live in the pit where the cold wind blows and the beast screams in rage. Do you still feel the cold,” I ask and she shivers.
“Yes,” she’s quiet but she answers.
“That is your first gift from me, I stripped that dirty filthy thing from you parasite and filled you with a cold wind. Now we will leave and I will remake you,” I tell Roberta stepping around in front of her,” Or you can leave and wander in the cold dark waiting for the beast to find you… and it will find you Roberta.”
I walk to the apartment door and open it, it’s not too warm outside but the sun is still up and I get out the door enough that Roberta can step out and I smile. She doesn’t run. I lock up Jackie’s apartment and walk to my car with Roberta following me quietly dragging her bag. I open the door for her and let her get in before closing my door gently after her. In the car and on the road towards home I’m quiet and thinking, a dangerous combination but a good one for me at least. I get home and park in the garage killing the engine as we sit quietly for a moment.
“You will meet those that are closest to me, those I value more than your whole existence. You will remember manners; you will treat them with the respect that is deserving for people who take care of those like Jackie. Do what I have said, understand,” my words are firm and I don’t threaten her.
Roberta nods a little, she’s shaky as we exit my car and I lead her into the house. It takes all of ten seconds for Mom to show up and she’s happy I’m safe but curious about Roberta. It doesn’t take me long.
“I’m going to help rebuild her, Jackie introduced us and she needs a lot of work,” I tell Mom and she gives me a thoughtful look.
“You are such a giver honey. Are you hungry,” Mom asks Roberta and I can smell the fear.
“Yes Ma’am, please ma’am,” I hear Roberta and smile inside; there is promise in this one.
I make sure Roberta is fed and her clothing is washed. Mom gets Bethany to give up some older clothes which is easy and then an interesting subject comes up.
“Will you be staying with us tonight Roberta,” Mom asks and Roberta who freezes.
“I think so, he said that he was going to help me,” Roberta is more asking me a question while answering my Mom.
“She’ll be staying in my room Mom,” I tell Mom and get a look,” It’s not like that, she’s had a bit of a rough time today and she was telling me that she felt safer with me around.”
“Guy you know how I feel about boys and girls in the same room,” Mom informs me and I nod.
“And if this were that you’d still love me and just smile because I’m not what I was and things are going to be better,” I use a bit of her words and get Mom to smile.
“Alright but nothing funny understand and you have school tomorrow, Roberta will stay here and after school the three of us will work out something more permanent for her,” Mom states and I was going to ask later for assistance but this works too.
A couple hours later the family is settled in our rooms and Roberta is in pajama pants and a clean pink t shirt looking around my room as I settle in on my bed and turn on the television. I sit and watch while Roberta is quietly standing not knowing where to go. I wait and after a short bit she comes over to the bed and sits on her knees next to me watching me, I give her a moment to form her question.
“I could say you hurt me today, I could tell them what you did,” Roberta comes out with the bravado first.
“You could but then where would you be,” I ask and she thinks,” See threats only work when they are able to be used.”
“You’re younger than me but you don’t act like it. What happened to you,” She asks and I smirk.
“I am the sum of my experiences and like all things I did not intend to be this but here I am and as such I will be what I was made,” I state with a happy resolve.
“What about me,” she asks and I look to her finally.
I see her face now, simple and a little plain but there was light there and the world took it. Now what do I do with this sad and simple little blonde female, not truly worth my time but her newness, naiveté if you will is going to be what puts everyone in their places as I close the noose and show everyone just how much pain I can share with them. Carlos should never have made the deal, nobody should have made the deal honestly but desires are so strong. Strong enough to make you believe that you’re the only one on the side of an unrequited love, strong enough to make you risk your most loyal ally in defense of someone who is your enemy for what is an enemy but someone who wants to see you in pain? But with Roberta, Sydney, Jenna, Emily and all the ones close but not blood they will learn what I am or can be.
“I’m the one who takes you there, I’m the one who cares, I’m your only true friend now. I’m your hate when you want love, I’m the one who brought you here,” I sing it in a low tone for her to understand,” I’M THE TRUTH IN YOUR WORLD OF LIES, I’M YOUR EXCUSE AND ALIBI, LOOK INSIDE AND OPEN YOUR EYES…”
I see tears in her eyes, maybe she knows the song or maybe it just helped her see what I’ve done to her. She can’t cling to who she was when I need her to be something more useful to me.
“What do I do next,” Roberta asks and I point to the pillow.
“You sleep and tomorrow you will learn the geography of my life, then you will learn the battlefield that you will be walking. When you know those things you will serve me,” I say it but she nods in acceptance.
I wait till she’s asleep and think, I want them to hurt. I want their confusion but what must I do? Reveal, expose, force their hands? No, I think a little death will be good for Carlos. Yes, he needs to understand death the way I do.